she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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