I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
