Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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