mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize