Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My first STD was from a foam party
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
