do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
