fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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