mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
