I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
