McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
