Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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