I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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