hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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