u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My balls are so social today.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is Oprah even human
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
