His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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