he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
