Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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