But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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