I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
