You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
