but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize