he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
