found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My vagina is officially offended.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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