the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm just crazy horny about you
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
