Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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