when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
