I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
