Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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