You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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