Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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