She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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