It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
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I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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