Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
