The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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