I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i dont even know how to be here
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
