U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
