I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
