her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
