i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize