Apparently you make a good broom.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
and she was petting her beer can
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
