whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
