I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
