6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
