plz talk dirty to me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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