The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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