Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
