once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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