Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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