I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
