She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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