Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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