i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
