I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
don't judge my taste in strippers
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
