This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
