it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
