Taylor Swift is so right about you.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
