woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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