i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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