strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
