someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Alive.
So much puke
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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