Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
