I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
