i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am naked and annoyed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
